


Where Were You

by lover_of_blue_roses



Category: Elton John (Musician), Rocketman (2019)
Genre: 30th Sobriety Birthday, Gen, Michael Jackson - Freeform, Reflecting on drug caused deaths, Reflection, anti-drugs, dont do that shit, jimi hendrix - Freeform, just trust me, keith moon - Freeform, kind of sad, like all of them - Freeform, obviously, so many of them, you make elton cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_blue_roses/pseuds/lover_of_blue_roses
Summary: On the 30th birthday of his sobriety Elton reflects on all the world has lost to drugs, appreciating them and the fight that must go on.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Where Were You

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short drabble that came to mind when I saw Elton's post about his 30th Sobriety Birthday because I've long wanted to make a like anti-drug fic. I might make others, but I just didn't want it to be some other graphic overdosing scene, I wanted grieving for all that drugs have cost the world.

Elton's day was winding down, it had been long but good, still he was happy it was coming to an end. The children were already in bed, and David was relaxing, reading a book but also leaving him space. Elton was having a good day, he really was, it was just- a lot. And he wanted to wind down.

Many people, most people would unwind with a glass of something alcoholic. And Elton couldn't say he was never tempted, but that's what today was all about, the 30th anniversary of his sobriety. He was far more proud of the control he'd regained over his life than any joy or relief some drug could get him. It had been hard, it had been nearly impossibly hard, but he had made it out, through and on top. 

So he just wanted to take this time and reflect, appreciate his own struggles and what they meant. Obviously there was his husband he would have never met, his children he would have never had, but also his friends. He hadn't been a tenth as close to Freddie Mercury as he is with Bernie, and he remembers how his tragic young passing rocked his world, or John Lennon. But the latter is almost different because he had the drugs back then, the drugs, Reid, all the worse vices, to throw himself into when the grief of his friend- the man that had made him godfather to his son- threatened to overwhelm him. 

He settled himself down on their plush leather armchair, letting these thoughts weigh him down. His mind wandered to the other Beatle that hasn't made it to 2020, George Harrison. Brian Epstein too, he died of a 'traditional' drug overdose, but for all that he was their manager, so strongly associated with both their rise to fame and his death being part their break up, he worked behind the scenes so his name is not known by the masses.

Fame, perhaps the worst drug of all, how it made you feel, how it made others treat you. But he remembered in times like these how capable he was to preform and play sober, the people that love him like David, despite his fame not in spite of it. 

But that was- He just thought back on Harrison, on how life sometimes turns out. Drugs took him too, although of a different kind and in a different way. Yet they were just as addictive is not as outright dangerous. And despite what those school PSAs might try to teach you about cannabis, cigarettes are truly the gateway drug nowadays with no comparison even if everyone did it back then. 

But much like alcohol, it's legalization hardly means it's safe. Beyond all the times he, and a thousand millions like him, have taken too much and done terrible, horrible things when drunk, it literally kills.

John Bonham, generally considered one of the world greatest drummer if not *the* greatest drummer of the greatest rock band. Far more recently, Amy Winehouse. Their ghost feel like shadows snuffing out the light as he sits there in the dim light of the set sun. 

But of course, 'harder' drugs had come for countless others. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin all at once or so it seemed, not even a month separating the last two. All that talent, all that potential, they could have been the greatest, they were all ready so good, still remembered after all these decades but what might have they still accomplished if they had lived to be 30? 40? 

Elton's not just thinking on some stupid number of record sales that might line some fat cat's paybook. He's thinking of human suffering, the community that is the people of earth and how they feel. If there is collective suffering, there must be collective joy, collective happiness and hope. He sees how his music does that to people, how it fills them up and moves them to tears, to shouts, to smiles and laughter. Far better than any drugs. He has felt that through his work which is why he remains with music, his first love, because he sees that in her. 

What could they have done for the world and could the world have done for them? And as he sits there in the darkening twilight, the shadows grow longer as more and more names come to his mind. Countless more musicians Keith Moon or even Elvis Presley, even Marilyn Monroe. Yes, of course she was an actress, but she sang beautiful and proudly too, and what she did for the music community- In a time when it would have been easier to look away, to do nothing, she was willing to risk it to help people like Ella Fitzgerald. 

She was right of course, so much suffering already in the world, just by nature's whims. But to add onto it with discrimination, sexism, and mostly racism, but that brave lady recognized talent and wasn't going to let the 50's stop her. Still he can't believe what is said so often, he understands that it is to make peace with these tragic passings but he just- his fight against drugs is how he makes peace with them. They weren't too much for the world to handle. What happened to them was nothing but tragic and the world has lost so much without them.

He looked up and saw other faces in the gloom. More recent ones like Michael Jackson, far from the more famous young 20s something, but yet still very much in his stride. Three weeks after he passed was planned his completely sold-out world tour. Truly the *king* of pop. Or Kurt Cobain, who's silhouette stood stark against the dying of the light. His fight for women's rights, for rapist survivors, even homosexuals, so much he could have done in his life even if it was only be a father to his daughter.

A tangled mess that man's life had been, as had his death, but there can be no doubt that drug played a part in it- in worsing it. Some people (dumbasses) thought Elton didn't like Kurt, but he bears him no ill will for spitting on his piano. He can clearly see the beef between him and Axl Rose, and to be such an unharmed bystander was nothing. Especially when Kurt rightfully pointed out that Axl's drug problem was getting out of control, even affecting his ability to tour and to perform on stage. 

He has been sober and fought this battle long enough to know he can't just sit here with all these what-ifs like dark clouds choking him. He got better, and he will gladly and openly share his story with all that will listen so that it may never happen again. If even a single person, hears his stories and understands that they need help, than he has already accomplished so much. 

He leaves the ghosts of Bon Scott and countless more to fade with the light as he goes out to find his husband.


End file.
